March 7, 2020

Liverpool stars Sadio Mane and Mohamed Salah are facing lengthy bans after touching hands whilst celebrating a goal during the club's 2-1 victory over Bournemouth, in contravention of Premier League advice on coronavirus.


March 4, 2020

Following a familiar string of disappointing results, wary Liverpool fans everywhere are dusting off their trusty books of excuses to prepare for the possibility of the club letting another Premier League title bid slip away.


February 17, 2020

Manchester City midfielder Raheem Sterling has assured fans he will not be leaving the club despite it being banned from European football, moments before boarding a plane to Madrid for a 'spontaneous city break'.

The Premier Lea...

January 29, 2020

Manchester United target Bruno Fernandes has reportedly boarded a flight to China hoping to catch coronavirus after the club announced a deal had been agreed with Sporting Lisbon.

The Premier League club announced earlier today t...

January 22, 2020

Despite enduring yet another defeat at Old Trafford, this time a 2-0 defeat to Burnley F.C, Manchester United manager Ole Gunnar Solksjaer has confirmed his side have made huge strides since their 2-0 defeat to Liverpool last we...

January 14, 2020

Recent reports have indicated that Manchester United are heavily linked with every fucking player you've ever heard of. 

Pick a player. Any player from any league in men's football. Thought of one yet? Good. He's been linked with...

January 9, 2020

PHIL JONES today signed a "lifetime contract" with Manchester United, the club have announced.

The England defender, 27, has made 222 appearances for Manchester United since joining from Blackburn Rovers in 2011.


August 6, 2019

Manchester United have confirmed that Cristiano Ronaldo will remain on loan for the 10th year running.

The Portuguese striker has, at least in the minds of Manchester United and its supporters, been on an extended loan period si...

July 4, 2019

Ligue 1 champions Paris Saint-Germain have once again shocked the footballing world with a record-breaking transfer fee, offering a staggering €240m to the parents of an unborn fetus said to be 'the next Lionel Messi'.

Not to be...

January 18, 2018

Leicester City football player, Riyad Mahrez, has been found after fleeing training game.

The news comes just two hours after the prolific winger fled during a practice game at Belvoir Drive, Leicester's training ground. It is un...

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