Man with no experience in combat sports somehow giving training advice on social media

March 22, 2018

An overweight, out of shape man whose only experience in combat sports is that one boxing lesson his parents made him do when he was 6 is somehow an expert on the subject.

 

Stephen Williams, a part-time communications adviser and full-time slob, spends as much as four hours per day avidly watching and commenting on videos of training and sparring sessions, despite the only exercise he gets being his walk to and from the bus stop three times a week.

 

Williams will generally watch each video for around two minutes before deciding the video's subject has failed to satisfy his unjustifiably high standards. Then, he will take to his trusty keyboard to pass judgment as if he were a hall of fame trainer, no matter the sport. Amateur or professional, boxer or mixed martial artist, no fighter is safe from this insufferable man's ruthless critique.

 

When he's feeling constructive, Williams will comment things like "needs more snap in his jab", "swing your hips into those kicks", or his number one go-to, despite failing his one and only chance to avoid a punch when the girl who bullied him at school broke his nose: "keep your chin tucked and move your head more".

 

But Williams, in his late thirties and still living with his parents, is understandably in a foul mood most days, and so his comments more often range from "this guy's footwork is pathetic" to "hahaha please stop boxing - you're embarrassing yourself". 

 

It is understood Williams has no intention of taking up any combat sport in the near future, though you wouldn't know it from his exchanges on social media.

 

Just last week, he was seen offering to fight a professional boxer who didn't take too kindly to Williams' harsh criticisms about his physique - one comment in particular riled the boxer: "how can this fat f*** be a middleweight? I'd knock him out in two rounds". Williams quickly became quiet once he realised the fighter lived only a few miles away from him.

 

Williams is just one out of an ever-growing list of armchair trainers, so think twice before you post that video of you hitting the punchbag in your back yard.

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