Fury using "Kettleplug" to strengthen legs for Wilder rematch

February 20, 2020

TYSON FURY has revealed an astonishing new piece of training equipment which he claims will get him the victory in his rematch against WBC heavyweight champion Deontay Wilder.

The British heavyweight has raised eyebrows in the buildup to the fight already, making bizarre claims that he has been masturbating a whopping 7 times a day in an effort to keep his testosterone levels up and "doing a lot of p***y licking" to strengthen his jaw.

 

And now the 6 foot 9 heavyweight has claimed he has invented a new piece of training equipment that's sure to get him the victory: the "Kettleplug".

 

"It's an amazing piece of kit," said Fury, speaking to World Boxing News. "Basically, it's a hybrid between a kettlebell and a butt plug.

"You just stick the top up your arse like you would with a normal butt plug on a Saturday night with the wife, then do your usual set of squats, but obviously the strength and balance needed to keep a 20kg kettlebell between your cheeks is immense, so you get a serious workout.

 

"My legs and glutes have never felt stronger. Trust me, Wilder has no chance; I might not be able to sit down but I'll damn sure sit down on my punches this time around. He's getting knocked out.

 

"It's not for everybody, but not everybody has what it takes to be the lineal heavyweight champion of the world. We've applied for a patent and once I've knocked out the Bronze Dosser and my team's worked out how to keep them clean we'll be rolling them out all across the UK. There's a gaping hole in the fitness market and we're going to stuff it with Kettleplugs."


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