Rangers F.C. desperately seeking interpreter fluent in both Scouse and Glaswegian
Scottish club Rangers F.C. have confirmed they are looking for a Scouse-Glaswegian translator, and are reportedly willing to pay a six-figure salary.
Following Steven Gerrard's appointment as Rangers F.C. manager, the club is said to be frantically searching for an interpreter fluent in both Scouse and Glaswegian, so the manager can communicate with the club's fans, staff and some of its players.
Football fans all over the world, from Croxteth to Toxteth, grew excited when rumours surfaced that the Liverpool legend, winner of the Champions League and capped 114 times for the England team, looked set to take up his first managerial role in the Scottish Premiership.
But after appointing the Whiston wizard, the club quickly realised they had a problem during their first meeting, when neither side could understand a single word said by the other.
Though both guttural, mostly unintelligible and terrifying to civilised people, there are apparently some differences between the two accents.
In fact, it is estimated that there are only a handful of people in the UK able to understand both, let alone act as a translator.
We caught up with Gerrard, who seemed happy about his new role, but understandably bemused about his inability to communicate with his new club. Or at least that's what we got from his tone and throaty drivel; we couldn't tell you what he actually said.