UFC 249 BACK ON after Dana White secures private habitable planet

UFC president Dana White has confirmed UFC 249 is back on, claiming he has secured a nearby habitable planet to host all events for the foreseeable future.

White had been hoping to secure a private island to host UFC 249 and other weekly events while the coronavirus pandemic continues to keep the rest of the world on lockdown, but his unique idea was dead in the water after ESPN and Disney told him it was impossible.


But determined to get his pay-per-view money, White has concocted another "out there" plan. Speaking with ESPN, White claimed:


"We're back in business. UFC 249 will still happen this weekend, because I have managed to secure the perfect location: it's a small planet, pretty close to earth, no deadly viruses to interrupt my business, and I've just bought it.

"I've got a spaceship I've been holding onto for a while now, and it shouldn't be too difficult to build an arena with some sort of protective dome around it within the next couple of days just in case there are any sandstorms or whatever.


"I'll arrange for the fighters to be picked up and brought to the secret location of my ship, then we'll shoot off together and put on the best show this universe has ever seen.


"The best thing is there aren't any laws there because I own the planet, so I can pretty much do what I want with the fighters, pay them pennies, have them kill each other, fight gorillas or tigers or whatever otherworldly beasts we find when we get there; hell, I can kill them myself if they piss me off. It's what the UFC's been missing. We're back!"

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