McGregor furious at "copycat" Mike Perry

July 12, 2020

Conor McGregor is outraged at Mike Perry’s recent Class A assault of an old age pensioner, on the basis Perry has stolen his trademark move of drunkenly punching grandfathers in pubs.

"I retired this year so I would have more time to attack pensioners," 31-year-old McGregor ranted to reporters. "I even became a pensioner myself, just to make it a fair fight. But now this mentally challenged idiot has stolen my idea. Mike Perry should be absolutely ashamed of himself.


"Not because he beat up a defenceless old man, obviously. Who hasn’t done that? I just want him to apologise for sabotaging both my plans and public image."


When questioned he believes Perry has damaged his reputation, the full-time whiskey salesman/part-time fighter was happy to explain.


"People used to think I wasn't just a fighter but also a kind of rugged yet sharp-minded intellectual. But now, my ideas are now associated with a man who believes having two percent African DNA makes him fucking DMX. Second of all, Mike actually knocked out that old bastard, whereas the 74-year-old I smacked barely even noticed it.


"I honestly didn’t think it was possible to look worse in that situation than I already did, but I've been out-manoeuvred by a man who doesn’t understand the concept of taxes.


"He makes Nate Diaz look like fucking Socrates."

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