July 2, 2020

Manchester City winger Raheem Sterling interrupted his club's guard of honour for Liverpool earlier to have a second swipe at his old foe, Joe Gomez.

Liverpool were confirmed as Premier League champions when Man City lost to Chelsea last week, and as is tradition, the Sky Blues agreed to give Jurgen Klopp's side a guard of honour before their next game.

But what was initially a kind, if defeated, gesture from last year's champio...

July 2, 2020

Fans have accused Chelsea FC of 'blatant' match-fixing after the club wore shirts with a giant number 3 in a 3-2 loss against West Ham United.

Seemingly out of nowhere, the Blues announced hours prior to their Premier League clash with the Hammers that they would be wearing a new kit for the remainder of the season, emblazoned with the logo of their new sponsor, telecommunications company Three.

The egregiously oversiz...

June 28, 2020

A Daily Mail investigation has found breakfast-eating-house-buyer Raheem Sterling has outdone his previous evil deeds of munching croissants and purchasing property - by stealing all of Liverpool’s hard-earned title limelight.

"In a despicable act of self-interest earlier this week, Raheem Sterling robbed honest, hard-working Liverpool of the chance to win the title on their own terms, by lazily refusing to dribble past Cesar A...

June 26, 2020

Liverpool fans were left outraged earlier today when it was revealed that an asterisk has been engraved next to the club's name on the Premier League trophy.

The Merseyside club secured their first league title in 30 years (and first since the inception of the Premier League in 1992) when Manchester City lost 2-1 to Chelsea at Stamford Bridge, and fans took to the streets to celebrate in spite of the ongoing coronavirus pandemi...

June 26, 2020

After Merseyside saw a 300% rise in cases of smugness overnight owing to Liverpool finally winning the Premier League, experts are worrying that a full blown outbreak could occur.

Early studies suggest thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, could die as a result of the smug, and the NHS has already reported a massive influx of patients with their heads stuck firmly in their arses.


(While you're here, we'd appreciate if you'd...

June 25, 2020

Sky Sports have confirmed that fans will have the option to add a looped audio recording of West Ham fan Ryan 'The Bulldozer' Stevens during football matches for the remainder of the season.

According to reports, the channel is aiming to recreate the true experience of watching a game from the family stand.

Stevens, who was selected from a random lottery of Good Morning Britain viewers, wore an England shirt three sizes to...

June 23, 2020

Feuding WAGs Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy are set to face each other in the boxing ring live on pay-per-view in Eddie Hearn's back garden, it has emerged.

Coleen Rooney, wife of former England and Manchester United legend Wayne Rooney, and Rebekah Vardy, wife of current England and Leicester City striker Jamie Vardy, have been at each other's throats since last year.

Rooney accused Vardy of leaking Instagram stories from her...

June 23, 2020

Sky Sports commentator and dad-joke enthusiast Martin Tyler has revealed that his overwhelming urge to shoehorn a bad coronavirus pun into his commentary has become so intense, he may spontaneously combust if he doesn’t give in to it soon.

“I cannot tell you just how much I am gagging to make a God-awful reference to coronavirus at a crucial moment of a game that not only distracts from the match but causes millions of viewers...

June 19, 2020

Football players, former players and pundits have taken to Twitter to praise Manchester United forward Marcus Rashford after his plea to the government secured free school meals for  around 1.3million children during the summer holidays.


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June 18, 2020

The Premier League has confirmed that one player was confirmed positive for sheer stupidity in the latest round of testing.

Though no official announcement has been made as to who the player might be, Arsenal defender David Luiz is the obvious contender in a total of 1,541 tests.

The Brazilian single-handedly lost his club the game against Manchester City last night after coming on as a substitute, giving the ball away to Sterli...

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