"Go on, question me again, peasants."

After England's emphatic round-of-16 victory over Germany at Euro 2020, manager Gareth Southgate has hit back at his critics in a scathing open letter.

"Hey. Still screaming at me to put Sancho on? Still wondering why Kane or Sterling are starting? How's that going for you?

Listen, this is why I'm managing England and you're sat on your couch chatting shit, you dossers. I'm Gareth f**king Southgate. The waistcoat-wearing, big-game-winning, stylin', profilin', Kraut-crushin', don of the beautiful game.


You think I'm worried about a little criticism? This tournament's already in the bag, so sit back, drink your Carling, eat your crisps and worship me while I carry this team to its first trophy in 55 f**king years.


I'll put Sancho and Foden on when I f**king feel like it, I'll keep using Grealish as my super sub and you can just keep singing your little songs and trust the process. Mm'kay? It's coming home.