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Coronavirus: FIA says stay home, you can't f*cking see the race anyway

Ahead of this week's Australian Formula One Grand Prix in Melbourne, the FIA have released a statement, confirming the race will go ahead but also urging fans not to attend.

The unexpected and typically brief statement from the Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile, F1's governing body, read:

"In light of escalations surrounding the outbreak of coronavirus, the FIA wishes to inform fans that the Formula One season will continue as planned until further notice, including this week's Australian Grand Prix.

"However, in the interests of preventing the spread and good common sense, we urge fans to stay at home to watch the race rather than attend the circuits. Honestly, we're surprised fans bother to show up when there isn't a deadly virus sweeping the globe. You can't f*cking see the race anyway.

"Why would you want to see two seconds of racing per lap and risk your hearing when you can just watch it in HD with an ice cold beer from our sponsor, Heineken? So you can catch a glimpse of one of the drivers? Or is it just so you can tell people you 'went to see the F1' at the weekend even though all you saw was the blurry arse end of a McLaren a couple of times in between 'networking'? Just stay at home, maybe look after one of your kids for a few hours."

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