Santa Mercilessly Beaten by Conor McGregor After Refusing Cookies and Proper Twelve

Christmas was cut short this year after Santa Claus was brutally attacked in Ireland by UFC superstar, Conor McGregor.

Old Saint Nick had travelled halfway around the world from the North Pole to bring presents to kids all across the globe and spread Christmas cheer, when his annual crusade was sadly cut short in the small Irish suburb of Crumlin in Dublin.

Claus had merrily made his way into the house of the McGregor family, blissfully unaware of the dangers faced by any senior citizen in the vicinity of former two-division UFC champion, the 'Notorious' Conor McGregor.


After customarily leaving some presents under the tree, Claus made his way to a small corner table expecting to find carrots for his reindeer and some milk and cookies for himself.


Sure enough, there were carrots and cookies on the table, but in place of Kris Kringle's usual glass of milk was a hefty double serving of McGregor's own brand Irish whiskey, Proper Twelve.

Having given up the drink after an unfortunate drunken incident with Mrs Claus' sister back in the 1800s, Claus opted to take only the cookies and carrots, leaving the whiskey behind. But as he turned back to the chimney to move onto the next house, a shadowy, screaming figure rushed towards him, dropping him with a superman punch.


Before Claus had even realised he'd been set upon by one of the best strikers in MMA history, McGregor had already followed up his superman punch with a falling hammerfist and moved into a full mount position to finish the job, but not before demanding to know why the Champ Champ's whiskey wasn't good enough for him.


"What's wrong with me whiskey, you fat old f**k", he shrieked. "You'd rather have a glass of milk than a double shot of this sweet, golden nectar? You should be on your knees begging me for this.


"When you stop at the McGregor house on Christmas Day, it's a celebration. It's red panty night when you go back home to Mrs Claus after bringing presents to the McGregor household."


McGregor continued to ramble about being the "money house" in Ireland for a few minutes, before pummelling poor Father Christmas and finishing him with a 12-6 elbow. So, to any children waking up on Christmas Day wondering why they have no presents, thank Conor McGregor.

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