Vaccine Fears Confirmed as First Recipient Now Supports Liverpool
Theories surrounding the dangers of vaccines were confirmed today after the first coronavirus vaccine recipient revealed she now supports Liverpool Football Club.
Margaret Keenan, 90, made headlines earlier this week when she became the first patient in the world to receive an approved vaccine for Covid-19. Keenan was injected with the Pfizer vaccine as part of the United Kingdom's mass immunisation programme.
Keenan, known by her friends and family as Maggie, made history when she received the jab at 6:31am at the University Hospital in Coventry, initially deemed a roaring success. "I feel so privileged to be the first person vaccinated against Covid-19", said Keenan.
"It's the best early birthday present I could wish for because it means I can finally look forward to spending time with my family and friends in the new year after being on my own for most of the year".
But just hours after she received the virus, Keenan's family reportedly began to witness 'worrying symptoms', initially what they described as 'disturbing guttural sounds', as if she were choking on phlegm.
"She sounded deathly ill at first", said her grandson, Conor. "She was trying to speak, but every time she tried she just sounded like Gollum from Lord of the Rings."
He continued: "Then after a few minutes it became a bit clearer: she started screaming nonsense like 'it's our year' and 'you'll never walk alone', and we soon realised she'd actually developed a scouse accent. She's never even been to Liverpool! She's been a Coventry City fan since she moved here from Enniskillen in Ireland back in the 1950s.
"At one point I turned around for a few seconds to talk to my mum and when I looked back she'd somehow found a Liverpool scarf and draped it round her shoulders, ranting about Jurgen Klopp being the best manager of all time.
"I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I'd read conspiracy theories about vaccines causing mental disorders, but I thought they were just a load of rubbish. Turns out I was wrong."
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