Former Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho is said to have been visited by three spirits on Christmas Day in an attempt to stop him being a miserable, grinchy old son of a bitch. The ghosts whisked the Portuguese manager away on a torrid and gloomy journey through his past, present and future. First, he was taken to the scenes of old press conferences and bust-ups with former players, examples of the arrogance and cantankerousness that led to his sackings at Chelsea and M

A MASSIVE clean up operation is taking place at the Allianz Stadium, home of Juventus F.C., after Cristiano Ronaldo caused Manchester United fans to simultaneously ejaculate all over their seats after lifting his shirt after scoring against his former club. Ronaldo scored the first goal of the match for the Italian side with a stunning volley off a deep cross from Leonardo Bonucci. But surprisingly, the loudest and most passionate celebrations came from the away fans, still d

Manchester United defender is to coach Manchester United strikers after wonder goal against own team After the English defender scored an impeccable first-time finish against Tottenham (albeit in his own team's net), manager Jose Mourinho has reportedly offered the player a first-team coaching role. He will be teaching the likes of Romelu Lukaku, Alexis Sanchez and Anthony Martial in the art of scoring a goal. Mourinho had this to say: "Clearly, we have a problem with our att